Today is equal pay day, meaning a woman must work 99 extra days past 12/31/12 to earn what a man would earn by 12/31.

Years ago, I had to demand a raise and it was scary. I had to overcome what most women have to overcome: fear of anger and fear of not being liked. I had to demand  it because no one was going to give it to me, and asking was way too polite and easily ignored.

It started on an average day at work; I got an instant message from Jay to come talk to him downstairs at the coffee shop. I was a little worried because I never spoke with Jay on a regular basis. Once downstairs he said, “Liz, I hate to tell you this, but someone emailed this sheet around with everyone’s salary on it, and you have the lowest salary of any investment analyst at the firm.” A wave of heated anger and shame rolled over me. How did I get in this situation? I thought I had negotiated well for my salary when I got the job. I thanked Jay for telling me. I had already suspected what he confirmed, and I sat with that information for several months.

Then one day when I had made a particularly good investment decision I thought, “Hey, I’m good at this, I just made the firm a bunch of money, I should get paid more.” I walked over to my boss’ boss and asked for a raise. Now, I don’t recommend this strategy to anyone unless you are willing to incur the wrath of your superior; it really pissed my boss off. But that’s what I did, and eventually I got a raise, and a promotion.

I will never know if I was actually paid equal to the men at my firm. I will never know know if men always had to go through the same turmoil to get a raise. It’s not like m boss ever said, “Great job you deserve this.”  All I know is that I’m thankful to Jay for pointing out the inequality to me, and I thank that nervous fire in my belly that got the nerve to ‘demand’ to get off the bottom of the worst paid analyst list.